Val and Ron
retired to an
old mango farm
in north
Queensland. One
day Val said to
Ron: " Why
don't you go
and look at
those trees
down by the
creek. I think
the fruit might
be ripe."
So Ron grabbed
a bucket and
wandered down
towards the creek.
When he got close,
he heard sounds of
splashing and
giggling. Several
naked young women
were enjoying
themselves, but
when they saw him,
they immediately
immersed
themselves
up to their necks,
and one shouted
out, "Go away, you
old pervert!"
"Don't worry about
me," Ron replied,
holding up his
bucket. "I just
came down to feed
the crocodile".
Submitted by: Hazel
Beneke |
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Text of a
letter from a
kid from
Eromanga to Mum
and
Dad. (For
Those of you
not in the
know, Eromanga
is a small
town, west
of Quilpie in
the far south
west of
Queensland
)
Dear
Mum &
Dad
I am well. Hope
youse are too.
Tell me big
brothers Doug
and Phil
that the Army
is better than
workin' on the
station - tell
them to
get in bloody
quick smart
before the jobs
are all gone! I
wuz a bit
slow in
settling down
at first,
because ya
don't hafta
get
outta bed until
6am. But I like
sleeping in
now, cuz all ya
gotta do
before brekky
is make ya bed
and shine ya
boots and
clean ya
uniform. No
bloody horses
to get in, no
calves to feed,
no troughs
to clean -
nothin'!! Ya
haz gotta
shower though,
but
its not so
bad, coz
there's lotsa
hot water and
even a light to
see what
ya
doing!
At
brekky ya
get
cereal,
fruit and
eggs but
there's
no
kangaroo steaks
or goanna
stew like
wot Mum
makes.
You don't
get fed
a gain
until
noon and
by that
time all
the city
boys are
buggered
because we've
been on a
'route march' -
geez its only
just
like walking
to the windmill
in the bullock
paddock!!
This one will
kill me
brothers Doug
and Phil with
laughter. I
keep getting
medals for
shootin' -
dunno why. The
bullseye is as
big as a
bloody dingo's
arse and it
don't move and
it's not firing
back at ya like
the Johnsons
did when our
big scrubber
bull got
into their
prize cows
before the Ekka
last year! All
ya gotta do is
make yourself
comfortable and
hit the target
- it's a piece
of piss!! You
don't even load
your own
cartridges,
they comes in
little
boxes, and
ya don't have
to steady
yourself
against the
rollbar of the
roo
shooting truck
when you
reload! Sometimes
ya gotta
wrestle with
the city boys
and I gotta be
real careful
coz they break
easy - it's not
like fighting
with Doug
and Phil
and Jack and
Boori and Steve
and Muzza all
at once like
we do at
home after the
muster.
Turns
out I'm
not a bad
boxer
either
and it
looks
like I'm
the best
the platoon's
got, and
I've only
been
beaten by
this one
bloke
from the
Engineers
- he's 6
foot 5
and 15
stone and
three
pick
handles
across
the shoulders
and as ya know
I'm only 5 foot
7 and eight
stone
wringin' wet,
but I fought
him till the
other blokes
carried me off
to the boozer.
I can't
complain about
the Army - tell
the boys to get
in quick
before word
gets around how
bloody good it
is.
Your loving
daughter
Sheila
Donated x
M&D
Kennedy
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